Cod Army battered! Cods walloped! Right, that's got the obvious, cod-awful puns out of the way, here's the match report. Given that the last one was so popular (well, I didn't get any complaints), I've decided on using the same format again i.e. general impressions of the various stages of the game, followed by player ratings.
0-90 mins: Fleetword are terrible, Dons supremely competent without ever having to get into top gear.
Hmmm, there's not much there, so as an added bonus I'll do this goal by goal instead.
30 seconds: Fleetwood centre-half Gregan lumbers after a hopeful ball over the top and seems to have everything under control, but while he's deciding what to do with it, Mo picks his pocket, (thus obtaining the ball, some chips, a half-eaten Mars bar and an expired WeightWatchers membership card), cuts inside another challenge, and neatly slips the ball past the keeper. 1-0
28 mins: Something of a rarity thus far in the tie - a goal that we score all by ourselves, without any glaring defensive errors (although they did give Keds the freedom of the penalty area). An excellent diagonal ball from Sam Hatton reaches the unmarked Kedwell just inside the penalty area. A good first touch and shot later, it's 2-0
35 mins: More comedy defending. Luke Moore charges down a pass out of defence, and is quickest to the loose ball which he squares across goal for Mo to tap into an empty net. 3-0
47 mins: Seb parries a shot only for Seddon to tap in the rebound. 3-1. Is this the comeback?
63 mins: No. A good build-up is given what seems for this tie to be the traditional slapstick finish. I can't quite remember the exact sequence of events, but from my less-than-perfect vantage point in the John Smiths Stand, it seemed to involve Toks having a shot saved, a stretching Mo hitting the post from 2 yards, then a defender sliding in to put the ball back into Mo's path. Having had a practice shot at scoring into an empty net from 2 yards, Mo smacks this one home confidently for his hat-trick. 4-1
68 mins: A good run by sub Christian Jolley ends with the keeper saving at his feet. But as keeper and defender dither to clear the bouncing ball, Christian nips back round the keeper to flick the ball deftly into the net. 5-1
80 mins: James Mulley robs a Fleetwood attacker deep in Dons' territory and powers off towards the half-way line, and beyond. After an exchange of passes with Toks, he's through on goal and shimmies his way round the keeper for the best goal of the tie. I'm almost feeling sorry for Fleetwood now. 6-1
So there you have it. You have to have some sympsthy for the 153 hardy souls who travelled from Fleetwood on a school night in order to have a John Smiths Stand view of their last realistic hopes of victory being dashed within 30 seconds, and their team humiliated in the ensuing 89-and-a-half minutes-plus-stoppage-time.
Watching Fleetwood's performance last night, I really had to wonder how they made it to the play-offs at all, expecially with two such immobile centre-backs. You might get away with one such chap at the back, but two? Are attacks in this division so lacking in skill and craft that they can't pick their way between two players that have the turning circle of the Ark Royal?
Anyway, here's what you've all been waiting for, those all-important* player ratings:
Brown - 9. Three excellent saves in the first half underlined why he's rated one of the best (if not the best) keeper in this division. Again, to be picky, his kicking isn't up to the standard of the rest of his game though it has definitely improved over the season.
Hatton - 6. An improvement on Friday's game (which isn't difficult), he cleared off the line, set up Keds' goal, and was a willing outlet on the right. But generally his delivery wasn't up to scratch, and he fell below the high standards he's set for himself this season.
Gwillim - 7. Solid enough until replaced at half-time (which is another way of saying that I was up the wrong end of the John Smiths stand to get a good view of how he played).
Stuart - 8. Not quite as dominant as in the first leg but still mighty impressive. Everybody needs a nutter in the middle...
Johnson - 8. The Johnson/Stuart axis didn't look quite as impervious as on Friday, with Seb bailing them out more than once, but it was still an excellent performance, including a second half at left back after GG's substitution for Yaks.
Gregory - 8. Tracked anything that moved in a red shirt, and distribution was almost always on the money.
Haydon - 10. Flawless. Excellent use of the wheelie-bin, gave 110%, and looked every inch a league 2 (and possibly higher) mascot.
Wellard - 8. Not at the match-winning level of Friday night, but still very composed and creative in midfield. Covered a lot of ground tracking back as well.
Yussuff - 7. Looked tricky and threatening at times, particularly in the second half, without ever hinting at the quality displayed by his midfield partners.
Mohamed - 9. Scored a hat-trick, always willing to run at Fleetwood, and put in another great shift. Only possible criticism is that his brain doesn't always work at the same speed as his feet.
Kedwell - 9. Another barnstorming performance by the skipper
Luke Moore - 9. Arguably man of the match. His pace, energy, skill and determination gave the Fleetwood defence nightmares. Probably taken off for his own protection after Fleetwood decided the only way to stop him was to hack him down.
Subs:
Yakubu (on for Gwillim at half-time) - 7. Admittedly against a dispirited Fleetwood attack, Yaks nonetheless looked very solid indeed.
Jolley (on for Luke Moore after 57 mins) - 7. Just when the Fleetwood defence thought they'd got rid of one pest, along comes lightning quick Jolley to terrorise them some more.
Mulley (on for Danny Kedweel after 72 mins) - 7. Scored the goal of the game. It says something about our quality in depth when a player of his calibre can only get on the subs' bench.
*may not actually be important at all
All-in-all, a perfect evening. An early goal to settle any nerves, some very accommodating opposition, and a scoreline that will certainly grab Luton's attention. No-one got booked, there were no serious injuries (that is, assuming Gwillim was taken off as a precaution and will be fit for the final), the Tempest End had a disco, and having guided the club to the play-off final, Terry was cheered for waving at the crowd.
Roll on Manchester.
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